Adorned Memory

Beautiful Adorned Magdalene… I left the preparatory lines on purpose. I was looking at other drawings in this book and found one from 2022 I really liked. The preparatory lines reminded me of proportions I like for the face of the Magdalene.

I’m glad I’ve established the discipline to draw Mary Magdalene every night: otherwise there would be many days without doing any art at all. Most days, I feel great fatigue and exhaustion. I’m looking forward to resting this week when there’s no school in NYC. I’m concentrating on drinking water, eating the best I can, and resting. These are very basic actions, but it seems all I could manage at this time. The version of the flu I just got over was worse than covid. I’ve had covid 3 times now and never felt this slow to recover. But at least I can draw and write enthusiastically again, which means I’m much better.

Now that I have the commitment to draw Mary Magdalene each night, I feel an inner impulse to leave whatever I’m doing to sit at my table, pull out my sketch book and start drawing. Like I mentioned in a previous post, the idea is not to create a masterpiece every night, but to engage in an act that symbolizes commitment to an idea, an act that reminds me of my intentions and dreams of freedom.

Drawing Mary Magdalene is also a way of generating ideas about details I might use for paintings in the future. It’s a way to call on the muse, and open ourselves to inspiration. It is a way to forget fearing a white surface or a blank screen. It is the prayer of the heart in the search for a more perfect way of living.

I write these lines about drawing because it’s what I have chosen to do, but this action can be anything. For example, cooking. Someone trying to expand in that area, might try cooking with a series of ingredients in different ways every day. One could invent a simple recipe, investigate the best preparation, or decorate a perfected dish. The way an ingredient is prepared could become the symbol of the wish the person holds in their heart.

I have a list of other symbol's to support my intention. I gave myself 2 months to spend concentrating on drawing and writing in this blog. I feel I am approaching ease again in these tasks, and I am almost ready for the next one.

The idea is to build muscle. Mental, emotional, physical, spiritual muscle. I want to become strong in a simple and basic task that supports other heavier tasks.

I am building an adorned memory that recalls the skills and abilities that come naturally to me in order to work fluidly and without effort. My memory must contain all the parts that connect all the actions necessary to create the life I aspire to live. Like the Magdalene drawing I did tonight, the details support the main image. The earring makes her more exotic, the suggested bead weaving adds patterns that are pleasing to the eye. There is an easy structure to the memory, and there are also layers or details that enhance it. They link together to create meaning. The simple structure of the drawing holds my thought, and beauty can grow within. A simple structure that holds an intention will create the space for beauty to grow within my life.

When I started I could only rely on the fact that I have been drawing and writing all my life in some way. I was trying to use easy actions to rebuild my discipline. I can have great discipline and am capable of dedicating myself fully to a task when I need to, but I have been giving all my energy to my “day job” and come home with little energy left for my own projects. I have been surviving through sleep and routine, two things that help me continue but do not support my creativity or ability to work beyond the regular workday. I do a lot of creative thinking at work. This is something I am able to do thanks to my experience as an artist and the skills I developed as an independent, but even though artistic creativity and mental resources have supported my daily work, my job does not support my artwork. I go unconscious when I am working. I go deep into the problem solving, the needs of my team, the support the school requires, and I end up empty for art.

Through drawing and writing, I am refilling my own alabaster jar. These actions remind me that these are skills I can call on even if I haven’t practiced them seriously in years.

Recalling who we are, what we always carry within, and putting into practice these skills helps us to warm up. My brain now remembers how to write. This is a victory because for a long time, years on end, I could only write “to do” lists. I can finally write a paragraph again!

For this I thank Mary Magdalene, Our Lady of Lexington Avenue, patron saint of the souls who do not believe in anything but believe in the redeeming power of Imagination. Our patron saint has never left me alone, and even when I couldn’t draw anything else, I could draw her. She is part of my Adorned Memory, and her heart is a reminder of the passion that burns in all of our hearts.

How can we continuously fill our own alabaster jar? How will we continue to build our adorned memory?

A drawing from my book in progress Creative Soul. An alabaster jar to fill with our words and actions.